Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
by Oeil du Soleil aka The Critic
Summary: The ultimate Battle of the Sexes. A heated war, seemingly immature. It's witty, and sharp, and very funny. 6th book COMPLETELY disregarded. AU, if you will. Try it, though.
1. Preview

**Disclaimer: **Everyone says this. It gets redundant, no? I own nothing.

Oh, yes, I have been bullied into this story by my friend who wants me to practise my writing.

This chapter is nothing but a taste of what is happening. Not much to the plot.

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There they stood, facing each other. A solid, yet invisible line dividing them. Eyes were narrowed, and jaws were set. Hands were clenched in fists of rage.

_Oh, it was on._

There was a hush over the Great Hall. The professors watched on in morbid fascination. What was happening? One could feel the electricity between them. No one moved. No one dared to say anything. No one needed to.

In fact, it was quite obvious. Surreal? Yes, but obvious.

Houses had been forgotten. Enemies had bonded over a common one. The foundation of Hogwarts was crumbling because of pride.

And there they stood.

As if conceding to this one thing would admit defeat. In all senses, yes, it would. It was a battle of strength, this one. Perseverance.

In retrospect, this was a bit silly, but at the moment it seemed to determine the outcome of this war.

They knew they were being immature. They knew they were acting like Neanderthals.

As if that was going to stop them.

What about the friendships? The bonds formed over the past six years. Seemingly unbreakable? What of those? Were they menial compared to the larger issue at hand?

He gave her a look. One that could freeze the ocean, through and through. A look that could stop the heart, and extinguish any flame of courage.

"Move," he said in a voice daring anyone to challenge him.

Oh, he was so cocky. They all were. Smirks on their faces, and glints in their eyes. They thought that they were simply indulging us. Letting us have our little tiff and move on? Like we were just going to forget this whole thing?

Oh, hell no.

Still they stood there. _He _stood there. It was all so serious. He wanted her to back off. The others were starting too. It was his eyes. His grey eyes. They did it; they forced almost anyone to bend to their will.

Bastard.

But not her. She wouldn't fall. She _couldn't _fall. They had come this far, and for what? For them to chuckle, pat us on the head, and carry on with such arrogance?

We reiterate; _hell no. _

She raised her chin, and looked him dead in his manipulative eyes.

"No," she said.

_Oh, yes, it was on. _

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**Please tell me if you like it or not, so I know to either continue or stop. Thanks much. R&R.**


	2. The Short and Unexpected End

Dearest Readers….

I am so sorry I have not updated from this first chapter in over a month.

The problem being, I can't write this story without it being clichéd or lame or overly predictable.

I am seriously considering stopping this project since I've already written out a whole story line for another…which I hope you'll like a bit more.

Again, I am so sorry it had to end this way….not even past the prologue (ouch)

What a way to start, huh?

I guess the problem was I couldn't find a good way to end it.

If any of you have any new or creative ideas for this story…please tell me. I hate leaving projects unfinished.

Anyway, the new story is called: _Shakespeare Told Our Tale _

Or at least, I like that title. It's almost perfect. Again, the story line is finished I just have to make sure it's up to par, since I owe you guys. Big time.

It's not quite as humorous, but the biting sarcasm never leaves me.

The first chapter should be up around Dec 15. (I have exams).

SoOoOo, that's it I guess. Feel free to flame. I deserve it. Hangs head in shame


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